Green Acres


A man decided to start a chicken farm and bought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, “Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I’m planting them too deep?”

Bath Time


Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want!
You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again!
I’ve invented the square tub .

I’ll Take Three

“One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”

Mother’s Day

A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, “Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time.”

The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture — soon, he’s been on every animal on the farm.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last the day.

Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laid out flat in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead.

The sad farmer shakes his head and says, “Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself.”

Randy opens one eye, winks, and nods towards the sky, “Shhh, they’re getting closer.”

Nose blow

We have to admit that one of our favorite scheduled events during the summer is the LaPorte County Fair with long leisurely walks through the horse barn. One horse in particular caught our eye.

He looks just like any other horse except for when you start talking to him. If a clown was ever trapped in a horse’s body, this was it.

His owners attached a pinwheel to the door of his stall, which we found odd until the reason why put smiles on our faces. This equine lifted his head , took a deep breath, and blew as hard as he could on that pinwheel. Believe it. A horse who knew how to use a pinwheel! Astonishing.