Green Acres


A man decided to start a chicken farm and bought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, “Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I’m planting them too deep?”

Bath Time


Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want!
You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again!
I’ve invented the square tub .

I’ll Take Three

“One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”