Category: Uncategorized
Open the Door
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, “Holy sh**, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!” The drunk says, “No sh**, that’s why I took my car!”
Twisted Heart
#Supermoon December 3, 2017
Eyes of an Old Dog
Through the eyes of an old dog. Some things never change. One of those is preparing yourself for the inevitable facts that await you in 10 years, give or take a few, when buying a puppy. If it’s your first, you’ll learn a lot along the way through the eyes of a dog who has… Continue reading Eyes of an Old Dog
Elephant Foot
An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle clear across the river.“Why did you do that?” asks a passing giraffe.“Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 47 years… Continue reading Elephant Foot
Dog Breed
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
Serenity
Serene it is. Quiet still water as your imagination conjures pictures of an elephant-foot, tree trunk slowly growing in the water.
Crows of the Corn
New movie coming soon! “Attack of the Cornfield”
Yellow Crane
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The… Continue reading Yellow Crane
When Drums Stop, Very Bad!
Deep in the African jungle, a safari was camped for the night. In the darkness, distant drums began a relentless throbbing that continued until dawn. The safari members were disturbed, but the guide reassured them: “Drums good. When drums stop, very bad.” Every night the drumming continued, and every night the guide reiterated, “Drums good.… Continue reading When Drums Stop, Very Bad!
