It Ain’t Lame Duck

“I’ve spent so many years talking about lame ducks in the White House and Congress, and it’s never occurred to me to find out what the heck it means. It turns out it’s an old English hunting term – something about firing at a duck without quite killing it. In any case, the hobbled duck…

Open the Door

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, “Holy sh**, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!” The drunk says, “No sh**, that’s why I took my car!”

The Harvesters Patch

Watermelon Patch A small-town country farmer has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to his prized watermelons. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!” He…

Loch Ness

The picture above is part of an old fashioned sickle bar mower. Earth Tools describes the mower:  Typically called Sickle bar mowers, these have been the traditional mechanized tool for mowing hay for over 100 years. The earliest ones were drawn by horses, and the reciprocation of the blades was powered by the rolling of iron…

One Lonely Windmill

A nuclear plant, a windmill and a solar panel are at a party, and the nuclear plant is getting all the attention from the hottest girls.  Jealous, the windmill and solar panel ask the nuclear power what his secret is. Naturaly, the atomic power player says “Well, Mr. Windmill, you’re just spinning your wheels in place…