A man decided to start a chicken farm and bought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, “Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I’m planting them too deep?”
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want!
You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?
Igor: Yes, I hate it.
Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again!
I’ve invented the square tub .
True story…I was getting a hair cut…
“Yeah, I guess.” OK, she is not interested in birds. Maybe sports, “This weekend i am taking the family up to Toronto and we are going to watch the Toronto Bluejays play the Baltimore Orioles.”
Silence. Then, “Wow, you are really into this bird thing, aren’t you.”
“One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”
Mr. Squirrel thinks our electrical outlet box is a microphone to order more corn for the bird feeder.
A Poodle walks into the Groomer’s.
Groomer says, “What will it be today?”
Poodle says, “well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up.”
Barber says, “Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that.”
Poodle says, “That’s how you cut it last time”