Baltimore Orioles

True story…I was getting a hair cut…

…and wanted to start a conversation with the lady cutting my hair. Maybe she likes birds, so I tried, “This morning when I opened my garage door I heard six different kinds of bird song in the first 30 seconds.”

“Yeah, I guess.” OK, she is not interested in birds. Maybe sports, “This weekend i am taking the family up to Toronto and we are going to watch the Toronto Bluejays play the Baltimore Orioles.”

Silence. Then, “Wow, you are really into this bird thing, aren’t you.”

Really happened!

I’ll Take Three

“One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”

A Beautiful Spot

a beautiful spot

An absolutely beautiful spot to lay down a blanket, open a picnic basket, and sit close to a loved one.  We are all in a beautiful spot today on this New Years Day, as we are everyday, to begin anew with hopes and dreams.  Each day is a new chance to make your dreams come true.

Speaking of dreams:

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

People and Dogs

People and Dogs go together like bread and butter. Here are a few jokes to go with that smile.

Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?

A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?

A: A friend you can count on.

Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common?

A: They both have collar I.D.

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

A: He stole the show!