A man decided to start a chicken farm and bought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, “Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I’m planting them too deep?”
A Poodle walks into the Groomer’s.
Groomer says, “What will it be today?”
Poodle says, “well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up.”
Barber says, “Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that.”
Poodle says, “That’s how you cut it last time”
When I’m bored I send a text to a random number saying: “I hid the body….now what?”
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said “Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field.” A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. “What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I told you to be quiet.” The son… Continue reading Togetherness
There’s a man who goes to the library and sees a frog there, who takes out 10 books. The next day, the man goes back to the library and sees the frog return the ten books, and check out another 16 books! The man is very curious to how the frog reads these books so… Continue reading Frog Style
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
A man and his pet duck walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.”… Continue reading Going Quackers!
A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse. “I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The… Continue reading An UnStable Horse
Two drunks were walking upgrade between the railroad tracks. One of them said, “This is is longest stairway I have ever been on.” To this, the other replied, “It’s not the stairs that bother me, it’s the low banister.”