I’ll Take Three

“One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he’d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

And there sat our Rosie all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”

A Beautiful Spot

a beautiful spot

An absolutely beautiful spot to lay down a blanket, open a picnic basket, and sit close to a loved one.  We are all in a beautiful spot today on this New Years Day, as we are everyday, to begin anew with hopes and dreams.  Each day is a new chance to make your dreams come true.

Speaking of dreams:

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

A Rolling Stone?

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.  He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia whack. He says to her, “Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $10,000 loan to take a holiday.” Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and askes his name.  The frog tells her his… Continue reading A Rolling Stone?

The Lighthouse Joke

The Lighthouse Joke”
The following is being shared around the Internet as an event that really took place, but it never happened. It’s an old joke like those found in magazines:

The Lighthouse:

Believe it or not…this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.
US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.